So for the past couple of nights I have been doing Ireland proper…getting drunk on a nightly basis in a pub. I also keep having the awesome days to counteract the drunken stupors (and apparently none of my group mates understand how I function with no sleep). Now to attempt to recollect what has happened the past few days…
On Tuesday we were supposed to start the day off by doing the Gap of Dunloe, but apparently one of the locals enjoyed Guinness a little too much and passed away, so many of the local shops were closed. This guy was also friends with all of the carriage drivers we had hired, so we had to kill an hour and a half until the funeral ended. So what did we do? We wend to a castle….
Ross Castle
We went to Ross Castle, originally the drop off point for our trek through the Gap of Dunloe. The sad part is we did this on a whim and could not even get into the castle because it was booked solid, so most of us acted like kids on a play place in McDonalds and took a bunch of ridiculous photo ops. Also, I found a cannon and this is the most demonic dogs allowed sign I have ever seen (Fenrir FTW).
Gap of Dunloe
We finally get to the gap and all of the carriage drivers arrive. Naturally I am indecisive so we end up getting the last driver available which everyone else avoided because he looked shifty and was chain smoking on his cell phone for awhile. Ironically he ended up being the nicest of the drivers according to the rest of the crews (Lucky us for not being picky!)
Quite honestly no matter what I say can really describe how beautiful the pass was. It did make me wish I knew how to ride a horse or mountain climb, because the mountains and their trails that carriages could not go up looked fun and kind of scary, so naturally I want to go up them. Instead I just settled for walking and riding in my first carriage ride on the paved path.
After we were done with the carriage ride we had to take a boat for an hour and a half ride through many narrow canals to get back to Ross Castle from earlier. Ironically they never told us the boats were old school. Seeing the National Park from the water was also an interesting experience, especially with our awesomely sarcastic boat driver drilling out facts and names of all the gaps and rivers (which I find awesome since the Irish are very literal with their naming of landmarks). Along the way Dr. Robin convinced our boat driver to let us have 10 minutes on a remote island where the ruins of the Innisfallen Monastery were. So we did that, took a nice photo op with Janine, then ended the trip with a group photo with Jennifer and Janine (the posse I’ve been hanging out with), ending the Dunloe escapades and starting the fancy dinner and getting Janine trashed one.
Our hospitable tour guide Mike treated us to dinner at a fancy restaurant named Bricin for a traditional Irish meal called Boxty. After dinner we went across the street (literally) and went into Mike’s usual bar called Hussey’s (don’t the Irish have the best bar names?). This is where Janine finally started to sober up some, because apparently she only gets drunk once a year. Unfortunately for her, she came on this trip with me, which quickly ended that, and also explains the awkward faces they are all making for the camera. This sadly ended my last night in Killarney, Mike’s home town, but what a wonderful way to be shipped off.
We left the next morning and headed for the cliffs of Moher, which we had to take a ferry to get to…Shannonferry to be precise. I had never ridden a ferry that allowed you to take your car on it, so it was an interesting experience. We also passed through the town where the poet/writer/guy who is good with words that’s Irish named John B. Keane was from, and they had quite a bit of monuments to the man erected.
Cliffs of Moher
The next stop on our bus ride to Galway was the Cliffs of Moher, which were very awe-inspiring. Naturally I have to take some deep in thought photo ops. Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend as much time as I would have liked to, since we only had an hour. As per quota being me, I found the most dangerous area, then found a hole in the fence, and crawled through it.
The path was very narrow and steep, and the wind was insane, so for once it was a good thing that I’m hunkered down so much by gravity. I hiked as far down the cliffs as I could, but I had to turn around due to lack of time, so now I have something to add to my bucket list. I also, of course, got the straight over the ledge camera shot, which on those cliffs is hard as hell with all that wind. After that I saw the most amazing thing on the entire cliff, the strip mall they burrowed out of the side. This will be one of the main reasons I ever return to this country.
We continued on our way to Galway, went through the matchmaking town, saw a funny sign about breasts, saw Galway hookers (those are what the boats are called, you pervs!), and saw a guy rockin’ it in his car (bad joke intended). Now were in Corrib village where we reside till we leave back for the states.
Manatees Show at Sally Longs
This has definitely been one of my most memorable nights on this trip. My Irish friend Ross, who I met last week at the Neurosis show at the Button Factory, told me there was a show at a place called Sally Longs that night for a metal band named Manatees (horrible metal name, but what the hell, it sounded interesting). So I asked a few shop keeps and finally got directions to where it was and went.
Finally, a metal bar that isn’t hidden! Well it was actually a rock bar just due to the depictions on the murals, which were pretty badass as well. The jukebox had a huge Motorhead selection, which greatly met my approval. I have also noticed that all bars have mini bottles of wine for the women and that most of the guys attempting to wine and dine these females are also rolling their own cigarettes, I just found that cultural difference interesting.
The first band took the stage after a bit, and were incredibly punk. I found that rather odd but from what I’ve discovered about Ireland is they have a much bigger punk scene here than metal, and what they do have of metal is all sludge or doom. After about half of their set I stepped outside to smoke a cig and started talking to some Irish metalheads, and met some very…interesting…characters. The first guy I met was this short (and very talkative) Irish man in a Linkin Park hat named Brian. He used to live in the states and was a traveling mechanic that works on Harley Davidson motorcycles. He has also memorized every Jeff Dunham joke ever recorded and obliged himself to quote them while I was talking to him. Man that was a long conversation…
The second metalhead I spoke to was a metalhead named Mike, who honestly was an Irish version of my friend Tom Deason. He was about 6’5” and wearing a Metallica shirt. We started bullshitting with a few of his buddies outside about random stuff, shooting me questions about America and being cynical as hell both ways about it. Unfortunately I learned that you never insult the Irish, especially to their faces.
Mike made a wisecrack about America and slurred a bit on his statement, so I asked him “Dude how drunk are you? Oh wait, you’re Irish” and immediately all of their smiles went from happy to DEATH! I was probably about to get slugged, so I diffused the situation in the smartest way possible…bought us a round of yaeger shots! After that it was smooth sailing. We all got smashed, I met some of the other guys in bands and they dubbed me as the “smartest Yank they had ever met.” These new guys, one named Allen and the other I had to ask his name about 5 times and I still cant remember it, were kind enough to invite me for chips and walk me to the taxi hub to make sure I got back to my place okay.
The taxi cab driver was kind of a curve ball in the mix of the evening. I had never heard an older gentleman say fuck so many times in my life. He was a retired United Nations soldier and kept asking me how he could get discounts and stuff through the US government for Disney world and such. I kept telling him to ask the veterans office, and I think he believed me. After he dropped me off, I crashed for at about 3:30 pm, and like I said, definitely one of my best nights here in Ireland.
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