So It Ends As It Began….

Sorry about the lack of blogging, I have been having technical difficulties with my computer, which also means that I will have no pictures posted in this entry since my computer is demonic and needs to be destroyed in a way I can only describe as “inhumane, even for a machine.” But here’s what was missed:

August 4^th:

Coole Park

Today was more or less an easy day. We went to a national park that used to belong to a wealthy land owner and is known as Coole Park. This place specifically holds a great deal of historical significance since the lady who use to own it had many famous Irish authors, playwrights, and poets carve their initials in their tree in the gardens, which by the way, the garden is obscenely extensive. I ended up wandering around and taking a 1.7 km nature trail by myself. The trees growing in the park obviously aren’t natural, but due to Ireland’s climate the trees were mutated to monstrosities of how they normally looked…and I consider it an improvement. Other then that we wandered around city center in downtown Galway and that was it for the day

August 5^th:

This day was eventful. We went to Connemara marble which is famous for its extensive use of all of Ireland’s marble quarries and effectively puts them in jewelry and charges for it justly. I think I was one of the only people that actually did not buy something there. After we did the touristy shopping there for awhile we drove an hour to the Kylemore Abbey, which is apparently still active and full of penguins. For the most part we weren’t even allowed to see a lot of the Abbey unless we paid quite a bit extra to get a private tour.

They also had a huge garden, which my posse was just going to skip but our classmate Michelle had to make an emergency run to the doctor so we had time to kill. We took an extended nature trail up to the gardens and came back an hour later, only to discover that they had been waiting for us for almost half an hour…oops.

We headed back after that to prepare for a feast we were to attend at Dunguaire Castle. When we arrived at the castle, they immediately handed me a cup of mead…a true sign that this was going to be a good night. The even sang pretty Irish songs to us:

As the night progressed, so did my alcohol consumption. I ended up drinking an entire pitcher of white wine almost completely by myself, and when we left the castle and went back to the hotel, I went down to the hotel bar, and got completely smashed (and according to my bartender had at least 6 complaints filed against me).

When I woke up the next morning, my roommate Adam informed me that I had allegedly peed all over his computer chair in our room, but I am rather skeptical to this, because when telling the story, he said I unzipped my pants, but I wasn’t wearing pants with a zipper when I woke up. Also piss would have caused one giant splotch stain on the cushion of the chair, but both chairs in this room have multiple miniature stains, not as when he explained that I soaked the seat with it. Either way, I can officially say that I have the most interesting “Guess what I did in Ireland?” story in this group.

August 6^th:

Inis Mor

We Spent the entire day on the Island of Inis Mor, one of the Aran Islands off the coast of Ireland. It was interesting to see such a small society being formed on these islands, and how much history such a small isolated island had maintained even in a modern society. Also, the Ferry rides are funny:

Dun Aonghasa

This is a semi-circular fort that is 2,000 year old fort that the Celts built to defend against roman invasion and protect their mercantile trade routes. It is also surrounded my limestone, which becomes extremely slippery when wet. Naturally, it rained on us while we were there, and I was wearing all cotton clothing….it was a long boat ride back to the mainland, to say the least. I also stepped onto an area our professor told us not to step on where you walk out over the ledge on rocks, unaware of the 10 foot cut back into the Cliffside a few feet down that you can’t see but from the side where he was standing. The climb down from the fort was lovely as well, especially since it’s extremely steep and almost completely limestone…and soaked at this point.

That concludes the last of our tourist trappy things on this trip, now we travel to the airport today, and leave early tomorrow morning back to the states….bittersweet this ending shall be.

~Will

I Drank a LOT the Past Few Nights…

So for the past couple of nights I have been doing Ireland proper…getting drunk on a nightly basis in a pub. I also keep having the awesome days to counteract the drunken stupors (and apparently none of my group mates understand how I function with no sleep). Now to attempt to recollect what has happened the past few days…

On Tuesday we were supposed to start the day off by doing the Gap of Dunloe, but apparently one of the locals enjoyed Guinness a little too much and passed away, so many of the local shops were closed. This guy was also friends with all of the carriage drivers we had hired, so we had to kill an hour and a half until the funeral ended. So what did we do? We wend to a castle….

Ross Castle

We went to Ross Castle, originally the drop off point for our trek through the Gap of Dunloe. The sad part is we did this on a whim and could not even get into the castle because it was booked solid, so most of us acted like kids on a play place in McDonalds and took a bunch of ridiculous photo ops. Also, I found a cannon and this is the most demonic dogs allowed sign I have ever seen (Fenrir FTW).

Gap of Dunloe

We finally get to the gap and all of the carriage drivers arrive. Naturally I am indecisive so we end up getting the last driver available which everyone else avoided because he looked shifty and was chain smoking on his cell phone for awhile. Ironically he ended up being the nicest of the drivers according to the rest of the crews (Lucky us for not being picky!)

Quite honestly no matter what I say can really describe how beautiful the pass was. It did make me wish I knew how to ride a horse or mountain climb, because the mountains and their trails that carriages could not go up looked fun and kind of scary, so naturally I want to go up them. Instead I just settled for walking and riding in my first carriage ride on the paved path.

After we were done with the carriage ride we had to take a boat for an hour and a half ride through many narrow canals to get back to Ross Castle from earlier. Ironically they never told us the boats were old school. Seeing the National Park from the water was also an interesting experience, especially with our awesomely sarcastic boat driver drilling out facts and names of all the gaps and rivers (which I find awesome since the Irish are very literal with their naming of landmarks). Along the way Dr. Robin convinced our boat driver to let us have 10 minutes on a remote island where the ruins of the Innisfallen Monastery were. So we did that, took a nice photo op with Janine, then ended the trip with a group photo with Jennifer and Janine (the posse I’ve been hanging out with), ending the Dunloe escapades and starting the fancy dinner and getting Janine trashed one.

Our hospitable tour guide Mike treated us to dinner at a fancy restaurant named Bricin for a traditional Irish meal called Boxty. After dinner we went across the street (literally) and went into Mike’s usual bar called Hussey’s (don’t the Irish have the best bar names?). This is where Janine finally started to sober up some, because apparently she only gets drunk once a year. Unfortunately for her, she came on this trip with me, which quickly ended that, and also explains the awkward faces they are all making for the camera. This sadly ended my last night in Killarney, Mike’s home town, but what a wonderful way to be shipped off.

We left the next morning and headed for the cliffs of Moher, which we had to take a ferry to get to…Shannonferry to be precise. I had never ridden a ferry that allowed you to take your car on it, so it was an interesting experience. We also passed through the town where the poet/writer/guy who is good with words that’s Irish named John B. Keane was from, and they had quite a bit of monuments to the man erected.

Cliffs of Moher

The next stop on our bus ride to Galway was the Cliffs of Moher, which were very awe-inspiring. Naturally I have to take some deep in thought photo ops. Unfortunately I didn’t get to spend as much time as I would have liked to, since we only had an hour. As per quota being me, I found the most dangerous area, then found a hole in the fence, and crawled through it.

The path was very narrow and steep, and the wind was insane, so for once it was a good thing that I’m hunkered down so much by gravity. I hiked as far down the cliffs as I could, but I had to turn around due to lack of time, so now I have something to add to my bucket list. I also, of course, got the straight over the ledge camera shot, which on those cliffs is hard as hell with all that wind. After that I saw the most amazing thing on the entire cliff, the strip mall they burrowed out of the side. This will be one of the main reasons I ever return to this country.

We continued on our way to Galway, went through the matchmaking town, saw a funny sign about breasts, saw Galway hookers (those are what the boats are called, you pervs!), and saw a guy rockin’ it in his car (bad joke intended). Now were in Corrib village where we reside till we leave back for the states.

Manatees Show at Sally Longs

This has definitely been one of my most memorable nights on this trip. My Irish friend Ross, who I met last week at the Neurosis show at the Button Factory, told me there was a show at a place called Sally Longs that night for a metal band named Manatees (horrible metal name, but what the hell, it sounded interesting). So I asked a few shop keeps and finally got directions to where it was and went.

Finally, a metal bar that isn’t hidden! Well it was actually a rock bar just due to the depictions on the murals, which were pretty badass as well. The jukebox had a huge Motorhead selection, which greatly met my approval. I have also noticed that all bars have mini bottles of wine for the women and that most of the guys attempting to wine and dine these females are also rolling their own cigarettes, I just found that cultural difference interesting.

The first band took the stage after a bit, and were incredibly punk. I found that rather odd but from what I’ve discovered about Ireland is they have a much bigger punk scene here than metal, and what they do have of metal is all sludge or doom. After about half of their set I stepped outside to smoke a cig and started talking to some Irish metalheads, and met some very…interesting…characters. The first guy I met was this short (and very talkative) Irish man in a Linkin Park hat named Brian. He used to live in the states and was a traveling mechanic that works on Harley Davidson motorcycles. He has also memorized every Jeff Dunham joke ever recorded and obliged himself to quote them while I was talking to him. Man that was a long conversation…

The second metalhead I spoke to was a metalhead named Mike, who honestly was an Irish version of my friend Tom Deason. He was about 6’5” and wearing a Metallica shirt. We started bullshitting with a few of his buddies outside about random stuff, shooting me questions about America and being cynical as hell both ways about it. Unfortunately I learned that you never insult the Irish, especially to their faces.

Mike made a wisecrack about America and slurred a bit on his statement, so I asked him “Dude how drunk are you? Oh wait, you’re Irish” and immediately all of their smiles went from happy to DEATH! I was probably about to get slugged, so I diffused the situation in the smartest way possible…bought us a round of yaeger shots! After that it was smooth sailing. We all got smashed, I met some of the other guys in bands and they dubbed me as the “smartest Yank they had ever met.” These new guys, one named Allen and the other I had to ask his name about 5 times and I still cant remember it, were kind enough to invite me for chips and walk me to the taxi hub to make sure I got back to my place okay.

The taxi cab driver was kind of a curve ball in the mix of the evening. I had never heard an older gentleman say fuck so many times in my life. He was a retired United Nations soldier and kept asking me how he could get discounts and stuff through the US government for Disney world and such. I kept telling him to ask the veterans office, and I think he believed me. After he dropped me off, I crashed for at about 3:30 pm, and like I said, definitely one of my best nights here in Ireland.

Windmills and Old Farms Are Disturbing Sometimes

Muckross House

Today started out rather early as we left abruptly at 9:20am to go to Muckross House to see the lavish lifestyle of the upper class in Ireland during the late 1800s and early 1900s. Unfortunately I was not permitted to take pictures of their furniture and what not for preservation purposes, but what I will say is that the 3 ton billiards table they had was badass! The only time we were allowed to take pictures was in the servant quarters, which were interesting, to say the least, namely the bell system. Each bell had a unique sound and ring to it, so whenever a knob was turned throughout various rooms in the house, the bell would ring in the servant quarters and they would know immediately where to go.

The kitchen used a lot of brass due to the brass mine that was on the premises, hence all that you see here. One of the more interesting bits is the traditional farms they had on the property, where they have authentic houses from back in the day of various shapes and sizes (accompanied by an obscene amount of animals) on a trail you walk. Each house has a lady of the house that is always making soda bread or something along those lines on an open fire, filling the house with vast amounts of smoke!

Also, the girls I was with were obsessed with kittens, which run ramped all over this place, like this first one we encountered. Alright, I get it, its cute, let’s move on, only to walk 5 minutes and run into another one. No, that’s not the same cat, that’s a different one! This repeated itself 3 or 4 times before they stopped popping up. Which I am guessing is because of the smell.

We continued walking; I flipped out because the sewing machine my mother has in our dining room was in this house. Which reminds me; I should call and tell her that. Finally after walking what seemed like forever and stopping to play on a playground, we finally reach the exit, just as Delaney sprains her ankle right as we are about to stop walking an obscene distance. I also stabbed a mannequin right in his heart, therefore taking his soul.

Blennerville Windmill

After Muckross House we all piled in the bus for 45 minutes to drive to Blennerville Windmill. Dr. Wilber had us write Limericks during the ride, which quite frankly got very, very annoying. After we arrived we watched a video, looked at a few displays, and then went into the windmill. It was pretty cool, with all of its rickety giant gears turning, though unfortunately the wind wasn’t strong enough to turn the grindstone so we didn’t get to see any grain turned to flower.

We left the windmill and admired the view a bit, before driving to the Tralee rose garden and wandering around town before going and listening to a published Irish historian speak. After that we piled back into the bus, listened to Mike, our bus driver, sang a badass rendition of the “The Rose of Tralee” he memorized, got back at the Bed and Breakfast, and here we are.

Tomorrow, I hike an obscene distance.

Will

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The Free Day

Today has been bland and boring, which was nice. I walked around town with Adam in the morning, came back to the bed & breakfast, then wandered around town by myself for a couple of hours before buying a bottle of Powers Irish Whiskey as well as Mickey Finn and coming back to the apartment to mock the movie “The Reader” with a lot of other people from the trip which was fun for those who stuck through it. On a side note, you have to love discrimination, especially when it is portrayed on you via your classmates in a heartbeat.

That being said, I am going to go write other things more relevant at this time in my drunken state.

~Will

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Poetry, Scenery, A Lot of -ry's In Other Words

Today was delightfully unstructured. We woke up to take a motor coach tour of Killarny and learn the layout of the town, and then went to do various other things, such as:

• Degrade an ancient stone circle by standing on it.
• Visited Kenmare and ate an…interesting lunch…
• Saw lots of Sheep
• Climbed really high up and stole my entire groups’ souls with my camera.
• Took Mandatory group photo with breathtaking natural background.
• Went to Killarney National Park and saw Torc Waterfall….while standing in that freezing balls water.
• Ended the day with Burger Kings Pancake and Ice cream treat, which is really, really weird….

Later in the evening Dr. Wilber had arranged for two Irish poets, John W. Sexton and Eileen Sheehan, to come and speak to us. It was actually kind of awesome since I had never been to a poetry reading. There were wines, cheeses, and crackers at this gathering which I guess is a typical standard for poetry readings. They each read a few of their poems to us, explained how to put emotion into your writings, and caused two girls to have to leave the room in tears in the process. Moving words from good poets, I guess.

Now, I’m going to sleep…later.

Will

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In Killarney, With All of the Folks at Home!

Today started off with a blast…or should I say a lot of cursing...We were supposed to meet the motor coach down in front of Trinity College at 6:30am and leave at 7am, Dr. Robin was pounding on my door at 7:23 because my roommate Adam and I had both slept through our alarms (which I find funny since the two of us are typically the only ones who are always on time for everything). We were both scurrying to get out of the door and I’m glad to say I think I beat my old record since I was out of my room with all of my bags by 7:30am.

We got on the motor coach (haha, fancy words for buses are fun) and went to the train station, which aside from Disney world, this would be my first ride on a train. The experience was made even more surreal since the entire trip I rode backwards on the train. This was also our first real chance to see the Irish countryside, which for lack of a good word is simply breathtaking. We arrived at our destination and met our bus driver, an old Irish professor named Mike Connelly (I am fairly certain I have the last name wrong, so I shall correct that later). He has already taught us so many interesting things, for instance, the phrase “We have no cows to milk” which roughly translates to those of us not raised on Irish farms “We aren’t in any hurry.”

Mike drove us to Cork, the second biggest city in Ireland, with many malls and department stores to prove it. Dr. Wilber gave us an hour to eat so we wandered until we randomly stumbles into a bar named Thomond, which was a quaint little Irish bar what looked authentic. We ordered food, and I went on a whim with Adam and ordered a cottage pie, which is similar to a Shepards pie, but with different….well, something. Long story short, holy sheep, that was the best thing I have eaten since I have been in Ireland. From this experience I learned something: authentic Irish food IS bar food, do not forget that when over here. After we ate we went back to the bus and started our trek to Blarney Castle.

Blarney Castle

I haven’t been too much into a lot of some of the sites we have gone to (such as the church and the Yeats exhibition) but this was spectacular. Maybe because it was a fortified castle with narrow slits for archers to creep out of all over the place, or maybe it was because the view at the top on this side and that side were as breathtaking as the countryside we saw earlier on the train, or maybe it was simply because I was straining too hard as I was being quickly rushed over a ledge by an old Irish dude trying to rush through the line to stick my lips on a medieval rock, which I happily did.

I also did some mild spelunking with my classmate Amy through the old water storage cavern at the bottom of the castle, which involved us crawling about 200 feet in a narrow cavern no taller than 3 ½ feet tall, only to find at the end it was covered in graffiti and probably full of dead spirits (hence my smiling) on top of being a dead end, so we had to crawl back out the way we came in, only to find another cave right next to it we could actually walk through with a very obscure name.

Afterwards we all went back to the motor coach and headed to Killarney, which is where my favorite Christmas song comes from, as showcased thanks to Youtube and Dennis Day:

This bus ride took forever, but we had the pleasure of enjoying more Irish countryside, as well as seeing many of my classmates passing out here and there for the duration of the bus ride. We arrived at Killarney to our Bed & Breakfast that we’re staying in, and after hauling up my bags to my room (along with at least 5 of the girls bags due to lack of men and muscles) I rushed to the city to see if I could find any sign of metal, karaoke, or a gay bar (because gay people party harder than straight people and that mixed with Irish stereotypes has got to make one HELL of a bar). All I did end up doing was pissing off the only biker I could find by engaging in a conversation with him and me saying his musical taste sucked because he didn’t like Motorhead (which c’mon, I am right in this). He started to get angry and I decided it to be a good idea to leave and come back to the B&B where I can search the internet and not get lynched by angry Irish bikers.

In conclusion, that was my very long, drawn out day, and tomorrow I tour Killarney, which should be more interesting when everything isn’t closed.

DEATH!!!

\m/

Farewell Dublin

So on our last day in Dublin, we had a class session, went and visited the Yeats Exhibition, which I am sad to say I am not a huge fan of, and I feel like me seeing it was wasted because of that fact, but oh well, at least I can say I saw it. After that we got to meet Mickey Dunne, a man who makes Uilleann Pipes, better known as Irish Bagpipes. Watching him play live was incredible. Don’t believe me? Watch, weep, and be envious that I was there, and you were not:

He also did a few didleys on the Tin whistle, which once again, low and behold:

After meeting this incredible Irishman, I really want to learn to play an instrument again…just not those pipes, which apparently cost 10,000-12,000 euros, and I shall leave the conversion up to you, but I will tell you now, it is not pretty.

We were free for the rest of the day after that and I went to Brewley’s with the rest of the group, then went and had one last Jack & Coke slushy, came back here and am typing this.

I would like to touch on a few things before ending this blog that I learned in this nice touristy town:

• I watched a few shitty punker’s attempts to play instruments and earn money for it, and if you are going to do that, do NOT pick Alice in Chains, one of my favorite bands. Secondly to NOT change the lyrics around because you fail to hit the notes effectively, just do not sing the song, sing something else, or better yet, nothing at all!
• Phrase I need to start saying: “You’re about as safe as a house on fire!”
• Ice cream in this country is made fresh everyday unlike in America, and it is phenomenal! I would move here solely based on that.
• McDonalds taste the same as in America
• Burger King kicks even more ass here! I did not think it was possible!

Those things being said, farewell Dublin, you’ve been swell….well not really, but the booze helped significantly!

~Will

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Neurosis, Metal Wilber, and Translation to Potato DEATH!

Neurosis, Metal Wilber, and Translation to Potato DEATH!

Neurosis and Drainland

Last night I found out about a metal show at a place called the Button Factory (an actual nice venue) and decided to attend in order to find out what the metal scene was like over here in Ireland. I was happy to find that a lot of the scene is Doom/Sludge metal, and that the crowd for the headlining band at the show had the place packed wall to wall. The opening band was a group called Drainland, which I dubbed the Irish version of Morbid Angel. Great vocals, awesome set, and I hope to hear more stuff from them. The headliner was Neurosis, a New York band that was originally a hardcore band for their first two albums and then switched to Doom metal (and do a damn good job of putting on a live show). I definitely have to look up both bands when I get back to the states.

One of the best parts of the show was who I ran into. In between the bands sets I ran into these 4 Irish dudes and one of their girlfriends from Belfast that were all simply badass. Another cool fact about these dudes: they are all in metal bands of their own. They were all drunk off their asses and hitting on anything female (and some not) that crossed their paths. They would show their guns (arms for those of you who are special, and not in the “its okay” way), say “this is it!” then ask them if they wanted to marry them.

The elicited responses were priceless, ranging from “fuckin’ bullocks” to lots of giggling to one saying that she could be their mothers, which one of the guys I was with, Richard, gave the best response ever: “FUCK OFF! How old are you?!” To answer all of your questions, yes, the accent does make this sentence acceptable. As I watched the show with these dudes, the one named Ross was cool enough to buy me a Guinness, and they even wanted me to come chill with them at Belfast and see Iron Maiden while I was here.

Were it not for class in the morning, I would have went in a heartbeat, but alas, I had to decline, So I simply asked for their emails to find them on facebook and said goodbye to my new friends. An awesome show and experience for the books.

The metal show came with a price; I woke up with so much back pain I was ready to puke. Luckily I am stubborn and was able to keep food down. After I stopped shaking from pain and nausea and was able to stand up straight, I went down and had breakfast hoping the Ibuprofen would hold out.

Book of Kells

After breakfast, we were going to go to lecture, but Dr. Wilber saw that the book of Kells line was short (and is on display at Trinity college) so we opted to do that instead. The book of Kells is a very old copy of the bible that is illustrated and written about 800 A.D. the display is also accompanied by many other old gospels from various other monks and what not. I would post pictures, but unfortunately they do not allow pictures in the museum, so when I tried to snap a picture a little old Irish man with compensation issues and took his job too seriously told me to erase it. I would have lied and faked it but it seemed the bastard knew how to work my camera….you win this time guard…you win this time.

The most impressive part to me was the old Trinity library. It was like I walked into a scene of an Indiana Jones film! Ancient marble busts lined the book ends with displays in the center, covered in glass displaying many of the beginnings of modern music and medical sciences, namely anatomy. The old library was truly awe-inspiring. We were only allowed to view half of the library for some reason, so I went to ask the guard at the exit why that was, and he simply replied “Well I could tell ya a good bit but the truth is we’re short staffed.” Not the thing I wanted to hear since I do not know if I will ever come back over here, but at least he was honest.

St. Patrick’s Cathedral

After taking a lunch and hitting the milkshake bar (yes, this place DOES exist!) we headed to St. Patrick’s Cathedral, which was quite a long walk. This is where Jonathan Swift is buried and where Catholics pay homage to St. Patrick for earning them the right to practice their religion freely.

The church was full of many old artifacts and was very informative. It was unnerving to see the gift shop in the back of the church when we entered, namely because I used to be a bible quizzer when I went to church and I specifically remember some part of the bible where Jesus storms into the church and starts flipping tables and chairs because you are not supposed to use the church for a place of profit.

Translations (Play)

After that, we all rushed back to our apartments, changed into fancy clothes, and went to a play called Translations about the beginning of the potato famine in Ireland around the beginning of the 1840s. I thoroughly enjoyed the play, and it was well but together, though it ended abruptly and had no real plot resolution, it had tons of metaphorical references from its characters, almost to the point where it was annoyance.

You can't kill the metal...

Today began with a classroom session of Dr. Wilbur and a classroom session, which honestly I would have slept through were it not for my back pain keeping me awake.

After the class session Delaney and I wandered around until our next classroom session at 2 pm, which was actually an assignment for us to do that was assigned during class at the National Museum of Ireland.

National Museum of Ireland

The museum was cool, the exhibits weren’t overwhelming and you can actually finish the museum in one day. The highlights by far were the bog men, bodies that were found in bogs and were perfectly preserved and are now on display there. Ironically enough one was so well preserved that his red hair was still in tact, and looked very similar to Conan O’Brian.

The other highlight was the Viking exhibit, which was rather extensive with Viking weaponry and tools they used in their trades of fishing and weaving. The only exhibit that was pathetic was the Egyptian one they apparently just added. It wasn’t extensive, which I can forgive, but it quite honestly seemed like it was rushed to be added.

After that we went to the GOP (Post office) to see where Michael Collins got shot at during the Easter Rising of 1916 and took a few pictures of where the bullet holes are still present from the machine gun fire. Then we took the light train (a glorified Disney monorail) to the Brazenhead to eat diner, and then walked back to Trinity, where my night got even more awesome.

Bruxelles Basement Bar

This by far has been the most fun I’ve had thus far on this trip (granted my massive back pain hasn’t been a major contributor to the fun factor, either). I got that tip from the guy in the Sound Cellar the other day suggesting Bruxelles to me and said “it’s the only place we still own.” I was dumbfounded when I found the place and saw the outside. It was mostly rich college students and tourists like every other restaurant off of Grafton Street. I saw the stairs off to the side heading to the basement and prepared myself for disappointment, only to not be. I walked into the place, low and behold... metalheads! Just to list a few of the songs that were played on the jukebox while I was still sober enough to write them down:

Arch Enemy – Nemesis

Gary Moore – Over the Hills

Tenacious D – Metal

Motörhead - Stay Out of Jail

Steel Panther – I Want it That Way (yes, it is a Backstreet Boys cover)

Fear Factory – Archetype

And the list goes on. I was so relieved, especially since there were only a handful of people in the bar, so I knew it wasn’t touristy.

Chronicles of Riddick playing on the plasma on the wall while metalheads shooting pool (and they actually shake hands and show good sportsmanship after the game). A properly mixed Jack & Coke properly mixed upon my lips makes this atmosphere even better. Most important of all, the introduction of a brand new favorite drink for me. Apparently these guys had a spare slushie machine just sitting in the back room, and since they are Irish, they decided to put alcohol in it. More importantly, they put my drink in it…that’s right, they had JACK & COKE SLUSHIES!!! I officially entered heaven, my back quit hurting, and it was miraculous.

I also met this badass Irish couple that are metalheads, Aido and Heidi. Heidi is obsessed with Slayer. Aido is obsessed with Amon Amarth. They invited me to drink with them after obliterating any hope of anyone else using the juke box that night (which nice bit of trivia here, apparently that basement bar was the first bar in Dublin to get the digital jukebox, and also this jukebox was amazing, because unlike in American ones, you could literally find almost any song you could think of, including metal artist). Concert experiences were shared, Sláinte was yelled numerous times as we toasted, many fags were smoked, and memories were made with my new friends. The bathroom of this place was also hilarious, because not only did it have the waterfall urinal again, but I could hardly stand up straight in it, and I feel really bad for anyone who had to take a shit in there.

Eventually I had to depart and leave my new friends, but it’s all good, that’s what facebook is for, and why it’s important to always have a writing pad with you.

Tonight I go to see a metal show for a band called Neurosis, and I can’t wait.

~Will

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Old Structures, Churches, and Crosswalks.

I would like to touch on a few things I have noticed here before continuing on with my activities for the day:

1. Crosswalks – when the timers go off, the sound effects they make are similar to that of an old school Galaga machine, and I now have a horrible urge to find an arcade while here and get my game on. The Irish also have the ingenious idea of idiot proof instruction placement on the pavement for all pedestrians to see. This needs to be something America adopts.

2. Their product name brands kick our name brands asses!

3. The birth of Tits or GTFO.

That being said, I am going to have to separate this blog into sections, because I took too many pictures and paid too much attention to the tour guide. Not my normal protocol for going to tourist traps but eh, there was nothing else to do and it kept my mind off my back.

Newgrange

Our first stop was Newgrange, one of the oldest manmade settlements still in existence, predating the pyramids by at least 500 years. To get there we had to drive an hour out of Dublin, so we woke up to take a nap, in essence. We went to the visitors center first, which aside from entertaining myself by finding ornery things I can use to make bad jokes, was nothing really special.

We eventually got to Newgrange after another hour waiting in the visitor center. Unfortunately, they did not allow us to take pictures inside of the building, but we were shown where the light is supposed to be shown through the light box above the entrance door on the winter solstice. In the chamber there was also quite a bit of problems with vandals back in the day, some rather famous. One such is from a priest named T.B. Naylor who defaced the inner chamber Newgrane by carving his name and the year 1894 into the stone. Yes, that’s right; the church vandalized a pagan worship site….oh the irony....

The view around the settlement was breathtaking, so of course we have to exploit it being tourist and all by taking about 20 group photos in the front (courtesy of Dr. Wilbur photography, Ltd.). I also took a short nap on the grass of the hillside at the settlement. Irish grass is amazingly soft and great for just lying on the ground and taking it easy. No wonder most of the Irish like to relax in fields so often.

Monasterboice

Monasterboice is an old abandon monastery no longer in use that only exists now as a graveyard. The only way you can be buried there now is if you happen to have a relative already resting on the grounds. The church has some very tall crosses with very intricate designs. The round tower is still standing where it did 1,000 years ago with its door still pointing towards the most important structure in the monastery at the time, the chapel. These grounds are covered with amazing and elaborate Celtic crosses. If you ever needed inspiration for a cross tattoo design, this is definitely a place to research.

One of the other gimmicks on this trip was to take your boarding time sticker they put on you and place it on a poster at Newgrange. Unfortunately for those who miss that poster, at Monasterboice they found….another place to stick them.

After all of that travel, we drove an hour back to Dublin and since it was my classmate Margaret’s birthday, we all decided to go out with her to celebrate….with booze. We walked all the way from Trinity to Brazenhead (The oldest pub in Ireland) which is a fairly long walk, only to find that they had quit serving food 15 minutes prior to our arrival. We went back to temple bar and ate at a restaurant named Mexico to Rome. They had bacon and egg cheeseburgers which made me very happy, unfortunately, their ability to bartend did not. I got a cocktail called a “Dragon Slayer” which was WAY too weak for the price I paid, and caused fruitiness. I ordered a Jack and Coke next round, only to find out they don’t mix drinks and just hand you a can and glass, basically. While getting massively ripped off by our wait staff, I looked out the window to see my friend Charlie walking by from Lakeland, Florida. I rush outside, tripping over a chair in the process, to catch up with him. The odds are astronomically small when for that to happen, but it did, and it is awesome.

Until next entry!

~Will

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Getting There

So after not really sleeping 3 nights in a row in order to get over here, I think an explanation is in order.

Mom, Dad, my niece Ruby and I all arrived at Tampa international with no problems aside from a piece of sheet metal causing a traffic jam on I-275 and having to detour (bad omen). We flew to Chicago for a 4 hour overlay at O’Hare International Airport, which sadly had no authentic deep dish pizza or hot dog eateries in it, so I left the airport deprived of fulfilling that dream. International flights suck balls. From O’Hare to Dublin was 7 hours, consisting of a shitty Matt Damon movie involving magical fedoras and some other movie with some girl named Selena Gomez in it who is apparently famous (and who hasn’t posted topless pictures of herself online and still works for Disney). Also I apparently leaned forward to sleep against the seat in front of me which irritated an old back injury I sustained and pulled a muscle which has been bothering me all day (bad omen strikes).
We arrived to find that instead of the temperature being 60 degrees it was, in fact, 45 degrees. After being in Florida at 90 degrees and then Chicago at 95 degrees it was welcomed with open arms and felt phenomenal. We were shuttled to Trinity University and checked in and shown our rooms, which sadly enough is nicer than the room I have at home. We were allowed to wander for 4 hours until our guided bus tour, which in that time I walked up and down Grafton Street (similar to Ybor City during the day for you Tampa locals reading this, just a bit more touristy…and green) before returning to get an hour nap. The bus tour was nothing special, aside from it being a double decker bus with an open roof where I made it blatantly obvious to anyone watching that I was intent on raping anything of interest with my camera, homeless people included (I am not picky).
We went our separate ways on Grafton Street and as I was wandering around window shopping when I came across a small hallway that led back into darkness with nothing visible but a giant blue neon Metallica sign. For those of you that know me, you know my distain for the band, but it is a banner that many metalheads follow, so I went down the hallway which led to some stairs. I went down the stairs to find a sign that said Sound Cellar and continued down to find metal posters all over the walls, ceiling, and merchandise everywhere. I was home. Made a few friends, argued over Lemmy’s poor choice in sound technicians and equipment on his last tour, and got some names of bars that actually are metal and a show to go to Monday night, which you have no idea how badass that is!
After that we all walked down to Temple Bar (no, it’s not a bar, it’s an area full of bars) and ate at the Quay Bar & Restaurant located there. I do the most stereotypical thing I can think of while there and order a burger, fries, and a Guinness, which I was happy to find that Guinness actually does taste better over here then in America. My back started to act up bad so I had to leave the restaurant and return to my room early, which I sit here now writing this blog. Not bad for the first day in Ireland, right? I have class tomorrow at 9 so I am ending the blog here and getting my ass to bed.

Autobots…rollout!

~Will

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Guests Check In, They don't Check Out...

Today I read a short story from Frank O’Connor entitled Guest of The Nation. It is a short story about Irish soldiers watching two English soldiers who are prisoners of theirs, but not really. They roam freely about the Inn they are being kept at and all become friends. They are being held because 4 Irish soldiers are being prisoners as well and the English are threatening to shoot them, and if they do, the Irish soldiers are to shoot the prisoners. The English shoot them, and the Irish soldiers have to shoot their English friends, and feel great remorse for having to kill their friends.

My paragraph summary hardly does the story justice. I am actually a huge fan of short stories (some of my favorite being The Book of Sand, The Worlds Most Dangerous Game, and the Cask of Montenegro). This one I think grasps a good point that happens in many wars of a soldier performing his duties and it conflicting with his personal ethics. Doing so can cause catastrophic mental anguish to a soldier (if you have ever talked to many Vietnam veterans, many wont even tell their most horrifying war stories) and leave them scarred for the rest of their lives. This story shows that there is no exception even in regards to the era it occurred in.

Since I already posted my wartime song and don’t want to re-post it, I’ll simply post a classic song involving Irish violence!

T-minus 2 days till Ireland, this should be interesting…

~Will

Commitment to Being Daft...

The Commitments (1991) is about some Irish lads deciding to create a soul band, because they consider themselves the "blacks of Europe, Ireland, and North Dublin." The ironically funny part is they actually become good. Moral of the story: oppression does bring creativity. As they progress with gigs and development of chemistry they get better and better. Naturally as all bands start to take off, strife takes over and someone causes drama.

Overall this was a good movie if you like smartass Irish slang, American soul, and attempting to understand why on earth people in the 90s are willing to pay to see songs written 40 years ago when there are tons of pubs in Dublin with cover bands 4 nights out of the week (which still boggles me).

After my experience last night feeding my family Irish car bombs and being groped by my uncle who thought I was my aunt and my cousin deciding to rest her tit on my head, I thought a Christy Moore of Planxty song involving incest would be properly suited.

My drunchies are hitting now...bullocks, this training for drinking in Ireland is taking its toll on me...

~Will

Drinking + John Wayne acting Irish = weeeeee!!!

John Wayne is always fun to mock the hell out of, especially while drinking, and watching The Quiet Man (1952) is no exception. John Wayne plays an American who came from a small Irish village and is returning to purchase his childhood home. He suffers from love at first site with a red-headed irish woman named Mary Kate, who has a doucebag older brother who doesn't approve of their relationship.

This being one of John Wayne's first movies, his eccentric mannerisms are even more hysterical than in his later films. Portraying the Irish’ true love of booze and fighting to solve problems, which should be mandatory in most cultures. Plus the accents are completely badass and hot on the chick in the film (you thought so too, don't lie). A must watch if you want to understand the culture and the worlds view of it.

Now to leave you with a song that pretty much describes my current state of mind with a lit Salem in hand, a pina colada to the left of my monitor, a can of cheap beer to the right, and a bottle of Jameson and Bailey’s on my back porch waiting for me after I post this:

Grog = amazing!

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I Sense A Disturbance in The Force...

Tonight’s Irish prep movie actually came as quite a surprise. Michael Collins (1996) is based on the aftermath after the Easter Rising in Ireland after 1916. Michael Collins, who is played by Liam Neeson (aka Qui-Gon Jinn), is a revolutionary leader who trains his soldiers to fight using guerilla war tactics and is the shit at it! The only thing possibly making him more badass in this film is if he had a lightsaber and force push.

There are a lot of explosions, cool accents, violence and overall good action scenes. I highly recommend this movie for people who like movies such as Braveheart, because though there are not any axes, they have badass hats.

To end the night, I think a song about a bunch of sailors dying and only the drunken idiot is the survivor…and that poor dog…

May the force be with you.

-Will

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Sinead O'Connor, eat your heart out...

Tonight’s selection was Ryan's Daughter (1970) about a sexually repressed and confused young woman named Rose, her teacher, Charles, of whom she has the hots for, a gimp army man named Major Doryan who has a hero and obscure injuries, and a gimp retard named Michael who seems to be a complete rip-off of Quasimoto from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, minus the tard strength.

Long story short Rose marries, her teacher, isn’t satisfied sexually by him, so she starts banging Major Doryan, causing turmoil since its based around 1916 and the Easter rising and Doyle is an officer on the German side.

Roses' father Thomas Ryan is helping the rebellion. blah blah blah, add some Gone With The Wind movie elements, and three hours later Rose and Charles leave for a better life, yay ending. It's a 3 hour long film and it’s not that bad, just long and rather drawn out. I wouldn't watch it again unless it was for a grade.

To end this entry, I leave you with a quaint Irish drinking song that tells the greatness of the man who invented beer, and if you have ever played A Bards Tale (One of the top 10 video games I’ve ever played based on dialogue alone) you should definitely remember this song:

With that being said, my ass is going to bed…

~Will

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The First Time I Have Ever Posted About Seals That Did Not Involve Clubbing Them

Today’s movie selection is one called The Secret of Roan Inish (1994) which was actually good, if you like folk tales. The movie is about a little girl who is sent back to the countryside from her father’s side to live with her grandparents. While there she learns many folk tales from her grandfather, specifically about how she lost her brother named Jimmy to the sea from her great grandmother, who is a seal (no, I am not kidding).

The only way she thinks that the seal will give her brother back is if she gets her family to move back to the island off the coast that her family used to live on called Roan Inish. After watching these kids fix all the huts on the island, I felt very inadequate as an American. These kids redid roofs, fixed chimneys, plastered walls and reset stones outside the cottages. Other than making me feel inadequate, it was a good folk story movie, which since Ireland thrives on many of them, and is a good watch.

That being said, I'm going to go get drunk with my family on my Aunts back porch in preparation for Ireland, but before I go, I leave you with this Irish tune, one about a wake that goes horribly wrong because the “dead” has a bunch of friends who are worse drunks than he is:

Irish car bombs, all-around!

~Will

On the Saints' Road of Matchmaking

My reading today was from my professor, Dr. Wilbur, wrote a short story called Gallarus and the Saints’ Road telling the best routes to take around certain parts of Ireland and some of the sites one would specifically want to see on the Dingle Peninsula and its surrounding areas near Killarney. Aside from sounding like the weather was atrocious, the story (or better described as travel journal entry) was very informative and will probably prove useful while I am over there. I guess if I had went to the same vacation spot for over 15 years, I’d get frustrated listening to other idiotic tourists and guides on the best routes to take as well.

Watching an Irish movie a day is becoming rather interesting. Yesterday it was on a laptop; today was on a Galaxy S phone. The selection was a movie entitled Matchmaker starring Janeane Garofalo, Jay O. Sanders, David O'Hara and Dennis Leary. It’s a typical 90’s romantic comedy involving some known American actors on the topic of the old time tradition of matchmaking, of whom is a badass old actor with the cool Irish accent.

Garofalo is sent to find a senators Irish relatives to help him win the election, and naturally, she falls in love with an asshole Irishman who sweeps her off of her feet, fuckin’ clichés….The movie was much more bearable then Man of Aran. Not my first pick for movies to watch, and honestly I prefer the matchmaker from what I remember of The Quiet Man, which I’ll be watching later this week.

Last but not least, my choice of song for the evening. A pissed off Irish song that I love and I’m pretty sure has been the background music to many Irish bar brawls for almost a century. ENJOY!

Damn the Irish know how to make badass folk music, don't they?

~Will

A Modest Proposal of Aran: Quit sucking

In the car earlier today, since I am traveling to Ohio to visit relatives before heading to Ireland, I decided to work on some of my required reading while in the car. Since I didn’t feel like having to concentrate on reading while listening to music, I decided to volunteer reading the short story I was reading aloud. That story? Nothing really, just A Modest Proposal…yes, THAT modest proposal, the one involving the making of baby jerky and viewing year old children as nothing more than a serving of veal (technically 4 servings, according to Jonathan Swift, the author, of whom also wrote such wonderful children stories such as Gulliver’s Travels).

This is also the first time I have ever read a story with much credibility to it only to find that there is a very blatant Jew joke in the middle of the pamphlet. Irish patriot: cynical and stubborn assholes till the very end.

I just finished watching one of the movies I am required to watch prior to going to Ireland called the Man of Aran. It is a black and white movie from 1934 directed by Robert Flaherty (the dude who created the fake documentary, aka The Office). The movie is based off of the Aran Islands on the coast of Ireland where there is little soil for them to grow potatoes, according to the film; they magically use seaweed in this process, which the film never actually explained as to how.

Judging from the fashion sense in the film, they seemed to have the same mentality as Quakers accompanied by a strange affinity for row boats. The films audio was also rather tricky to understand because of the audio editing and thick accents (I thought the first twenty minutes of the film they were speaking Gaelic). The entire last half of this film was the people of the islands hunting down a school of basking sharks that comes by once a year off the coast Ireland. The male lead in this film was almost killed because of violent weather crashing giant waves on rocks, including carrying his row boat towards those rocks. He survives and the movie ends.

The story actually reminded much of an Ernest Hemmingway short story entitled The Old Man and the Sea, specifically the scene where they say that the fishermen had to fight for two day to catch the shark, which in Hemmingway’s story, a similar event in the story happens almost identical to that.

That being said, time for an irish quartet!

Until next time, lads'n'lasses!

~Will